Notice what I am doing when I talk to myself and other people like that? I’m talking myself into being stressed.

Dr Maxwell Maltz came up with the Psycho-Cybernetics concept. It’s all about how our minds are goal-seeking mechanisms. And our minds automatically assume that what we are thinking about is the goal and will then get organised to take us to that goal.

Visit https://www.psycho-cybernetics.com

In my case, telling myself I’m stressed and won’t survive becomes my goal and now that’s what my mind is going to help me achieve.

Contrast that with Rodney Claughton who works at Kiwi Packaging. The first thing out of his mouth when you say, “Hello Rodney”, is, “Every day’s a good day Jamie!”. Rodney’s mind takes that on board and gets organised to help him achieve a good day. At the end of the day Rodney feels great and highly motivated, ready for the next day, whereas I’m feeling crap, demotivated, and dreading the next day.

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Pressure comes from outside and stress comes from inside, from our personal response or reaction to pressure. Show me 10 people all under the same pressure and I’ll show you 10 different levels of stress from nil to seeing the GP for some medication. That’s Psycho-Cybernetics in action.

Arthur Johnson had his 100th birthday at home in Waimate in early December and is still playing his trumpet. His life had been filled with love, laughter and music.

“I have probably lived in the best time that this world had to offer,’’ he said.

WHAT?

Think about what he’s been through in 100 years… The Great Depression, WWII, the polio epidemic, etc.

What’s the goal he is putting into his mind? What’s he saying to himself? That he’s living in the best time ever.

And what’s the outcome? He’s fit and well, taking good care of himself and still enjoying playing his trumpet.

Arthur’s a living example of the Monty Python song in The Life of Brian movie, “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life”.

Play the song here

If you are telling yourself what a tough life you are having it’s probably going to turn out that way, so tell yourself a different story about your life. A positive + story about how fortunate you are to live here in NZ with all the opportunities that are provided.

Remind yourself that billions of people in this world would think they had died and gone to a miraculous afterlife if they had your problems. So, they are not problems, they are some of the benefits of the wonderful life you are living here in NZ. You’ll easily fill a book if you start writing down what wonderful lives we live here.

There’s a lot of dumb stuff going on in the world in endeavours to remove pressure from our lives and eliminate stress.

The dead fish go downstream with the current where there’s no pressure. The live fish go upstream becoming stronger as they face the pressure of the current.

The outcome is the opposite of what we need. It’s causing more fragility.

A person with a compound fracture of their leg will have their leg in plaster for twelve weeks and the
muscles in that leg take a holiday. The plaster takes the pressure the muscles usually have to deal with. And when the plaster comes off, that leg has shrunk and become weaker. It has to be put under pressure to regain its usual size and strength.

So, make positive use of the pressures you feel and become stronger.

Take a positive + live fish attitude into 2022 and welcome pressure into your life because that is the way to become stronger, more capable in handling pressure, and ‘antifragile’.

“All That We Are Arises With Our Thoughts.
With Our Thoughts We Make Our World.”

Gautama Buddha

Robbie Deans is our most outstanding rugby coach never to coach the All Blacks. His record as coach of the Crusaders stands head and shoulders above the rest with seven Super Rugby Championship titles to his credit. The Crusaders went to the top of the table under his guidance and have stayed there ever since. He left a lasting impression on the culture of that organisation.

One of the stories Robbie uses to ensure his players are well equipped to deal with whatever life throws at them, on and off the field, is the story of the two wolves.

It’s the story of an old Cherokee Indian talking to his grandchildren, and this is the story he told them as they gathered around him in the twilight under the stars one evening. It’s about the battle that goes on inside each of us. Here is the wisdom he passed on to them:

“Children, there is a battle going on inside each one of us and it is like a battle between 2 wolves.
One is Evil. That wolf is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.
The other one is Good. This wolf is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.”
The grandchildren were quiet for a few moments and the one piped up and asked their grandfather, “Which wolf wins?”
The wise old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

With all of the disruption caused by the Covid-19 Pandemic there’s lots of time for those two wolves to be busy fighting each other and it’s over to each of us to take steps to feed the good one. That means:

• Paying attention to all that’s well in the world.
• Always show a positive attitude in your interaction with others.
• Being grateful that we live in a time when science has answers that were not available to combat epidemics in past centuries – think of the Black Plague killing a third of the population.
• Now science provides the means to protect us from the worst.
• Showing that you care for your family, friends, and colleagues. Taking charge of your own self-talk, and coaching those within your circle of influence, is vital to your wellbeing and leadership effectiveness.